


Electric Sheep

by Kt_fairy



Series: Aluminium Man [2]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Asexual Character, Asexuality Spectrum, Derek "Nursey" Nurse is Unchill, Developing Relationship, M/M, Sexual Content, dex can be chill, they're working through some stuff, various asexual problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-19 06:59:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16529687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kt_fairy/pseuds/Kt_fairy
Summary: If Derek wanted to fuck that was his own damn business.





	Electric Sheep

**Author's Note:**

> I disappear for twenty years and then come back with two fic's in 3 weeks. S'how I roll fuckaasss
> 
> See notes at the end for warnings.

 

 

 

 If Derek wanted to fuck that was his own damn business.

 

 He _knew_ this was right. His body was his to do with - safely- as he saw fit. He had as much right as anyone, asexual or no, to fuck or not to fuck.

 

 If he wanted to deal with his slow desire on his own in private and then text his boyfriend about it afterwards, well - that was his choice.

 

 Derek smiled at the gif of a screaming Chihuahua Dex sent back, laughing at the teacher and corn emoji’s that followed.

 

 Derek kicked the blanket off the end of the bed as he rolled over onto his side, tapping on Dex’s photo in the top corner of the chat. It was a photo of Dex yelling that Chris had drawn lazer eyes onto that always made Derek laugh, which was exactly why Dex used it.

 

 He had never felt mushy over someone before. Had never got a sickly sweet feeling in his chest over anyone. But he found, as he started scrolling through pictures of Dex, and Chris and Cait and Bitty and the Graduates, that he didn’t overly mind it.

 

                  

_X_

 

 They could have had a double bed if they had wanted. Their room in the Haus was certainly big enough, and it would have saved Dex a lot of trouble trying to turn Lardo’s loft bed into bunks.

 

 Over the summer they had talked over everything; about Dex’s feelings on basically moving in together less than a year into their relationship, about the need for space both personal and in their lives, about their own comfort. In the end they decided to keep the D-man tradition of bunk beds, even if Ollie and Wicks’ total remodelling of the attic left Derek more envious than he’d ever like to admit.

 

“Bunkbeds huh?” Derek heard Louis - one of the new Waffles - say from the doorway of their room. Derek paused with his hands under the running water of the sink as he glanced towards the half open bathroom door, listening to Dex cross the creaky floorboards. “How do you and Nursey…”

 

“Oh ya know,” he heard Dex say, a half smile obvious in his voice. “Gotta leave room for Jesus.”

 

 Louis laughed and Derek went back to washing his hands. It wasn't that he didn’t want to tell the Waffles. He simply...they didn’t get to know that part of him yet. Not when he barely knew them.

 

 He stood just out of sight behind the door as he listened to Dex explain something about the skate sharpening machine at Faber. He felt a bit silly, hiding from a fucking Waffle like he didn’t have the authority - or the right - to tell him to mind his business if the bunk bed thing got brought up again. He just didn’t want to.

 

 Derek came out of the bathroom when he heard Louis head off down the stairs. He stood in the doorway watching as Dex paused and smiled at him. Watched as the smile became a worried frown.

 

“Y’okay babe?”

 

“We should have had a double bed.”

 

 Dex rolled his eyes and went back over to the desk, “If this was like - ten years ago we’d be wanting separate beds so no-one would think we were fucking. Now you want a double bed so people think we are.”

  

 He was right, of course, but it didn’t make Derek feel any different. “I don’t want to be questioned.”

  

 Dex looked over his shoulder at Derek, looking as serious as he ever was. “If they say anything again I’ll tell them to fuck off and mind their own business.”

 

“You can’t just frighten the Waffles into doing what you want.”

 

“I can and I will,” Dex said in that way that made you unsure if he really would throw down with a Waffle or not.

 

 Derek crossed the room and put his hands on Dex’s waist, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “You have too much of a soft center to scare anyone.”

 

“They don’t know that yet.”

 

 Derek shook his head, resting his cheek on Dex’s shoulder. “I love you. Idiot”

 

 Dex ran his big, steady hands up and down Derek’s back, nudging his nose against his curls. “You okay?”

 

“Mmm. Yes.”

 

“Good. Love you too.”

 

 Dex smelt good all the time. Even after long, hard games where he was skating extra shifts when someone was injured, his pads dripping with sweat, he still smelt good. Derek was bias of course, he knew that pheromones and shit made people you like smell good but…

 

 Derek froze. Dex’s hand faltered on his back but kept going like he couldn’t feel Derek chubbing against his thigh, didn’t say a word to him as Derek shifted so his hips weren’t resting against his anymore.

 

“I’m…”

 

“Dick’s be like that sometimes,” Dex said and Derek snorted, bumping his forehead against his chin.

 

“Yes they do. Your big huge manliness got a direct line to my gay ass dick.”

 

“Never refer to me as ‘big huge manliness again’.”

 

“Mmm. Okay, vast, strong, virility then.”

 

 Dex let out a sound of pain and flicked Derek in the ear. Doing it again when Derek laughed.

 

_X_

 

 The thing was...

 

 The thing was Derek liked how Dex looked. He liked his face and his freckles and his powerful legs and strong, broad back. He liked how his long body fit against Derek’s chest when he spooned him, and he liked how Dex wrapped around him when Derek snuggled up against him.

 

 Being Ace didn’t mean he didn’t appreciate that. It simply meant that he didn't especially wanted to fuck Dex because of those things.

 

 He did though. Want to have sex with Dex.

 

 Derek always thought about him when he got off. But knowing ace folk could want _and_ have sex without it invalidating who they were, and actually putting that into _practice_  were two very different things.

 

 Derek told himself it was because he was trying to be at home in his identity; a varied and wide ranging thing whose main components consisted of being a black English Major who played hockey, had a boyfriend, and was also ace. It was a lot to juggle, as that little smart ass voice in his head like to remind him. Always asked him how could he be comfortable in his identity if he shied away from a part of it for the sake of what other people said he should want.

 

_Why did he care_?

 

 He had never hated the idea of sex. If people did then that was chill, but it wasn’t him. When he had first realised he might be a asexual he had been tempted, in a moment of anxiety that always encouraged him to make the poor decisions, to never tell Dex. If he still felt good having sex then nothing needed to change about them, and he wouldn’t risk losing Dex.

 

 It was a shitty thing to consider doing, and a shitty thing _to_ do. He hadn't needed Chris' obvious disappointment in him or his one way conversation with Derek about just  _how_ shitty that was to know that.

 

 Dex listened whenever Derek needed to talk stuff out. He was never not supportive, always tried to understand Derek’s self doubt, or the expectations that came with being a jock and looking the way he did. And he believed Derek when he said that wanting to have sex wasn’t just because he was prepared to fuck for Dex’s needs, or any of the other shit people might think about him.

 

 It was the intimacy of sex. It was the emotion. It was liking how Dex’s shoulders flushed faintly when he came even if he had never found much appeal in watching other people orgasm - he thought the whole thing was awkward and very unchill. Which had made Dex laugh and laugh when he had admitted that to him.

 

 Talking this over would be the best thing to do, yet for all Derek's skill with verse and prose looking another human in the eye and letting out those deep held truths was never easy.

 

 

_X_

 

 The first sign that Derek might be mishandling this talk was when he started feeling Dex up - but that comes later on.

 

 Bitty had been in his own stress baking bubble all afternoon, taking up the whole kitchen with cookies and pies and pastry to freeze ‘just in case’. It looked as if it was going to be a trip to the dining hall for dinner until Chris stepped in.

 

“Bit’s, we need the kitchen.”

 

“Oh I know. I’ve just got one more…”

 

“No. Bitty,” he said in _that_ voice, “this is enough. Go do your homework.”

 

“There’s a batch of cookies to put in the over after this one’s done, sweetie.”

 

“Dex can do that. If you don’t do your french grammar homework you’ll be making cookies in Georgia, not here.”

 

 Derek slid a glance over to Dex who shot him a look of ‘ _yikes_ ’ as he pulled himself up to his full six-foot-two inches at Chris’ shoulder like one word would have him physically removing Bitty from the room.

 

 Big brown eyes looked at each of them in turn before Bitty heaved a sigh. “You’re right sweetie, you’re right,” he said, putting the dishcloth he had been wringing in his hands down on the counter. “Will ya’ll be alright gettin’ dinner?”

 

“Yes. Dex will make sure we don’t burn anything down.”

 

“Okay. Dex, honey, the cookies…”

 

“I’ve made them before Bit’s. It’ll be fine. We’ll leave some food for you for when you’re done with your french.”

 

 Bitty stalled a little more before finally heading up to his room, Christ watching him from the bottom of the stairs until his door clicked closed.

 

“He’ll be on video call to Jack in five minutes,” Dex muttered as he swapped out the cookies, shooting Derek a smile of thanks for clearing one of the cooling racks.

 

“We can only do so much. Hey C, how many ‘sweeties’ has it been this week?”

 

 Chris shot them both a dark look as he collapsed into a seat at the table. “Enough for you guys to make me food.”

 

“You should really say something to him, Chris,” Dex said as he and Derek started clearing the work surfaces of baked goods.

 

“Hear that C? From the mouth of the white boy.”

 

“If I ever call anyone sweetie I expect you to check if I’ve been possessed or replaced by a robot.”

 

“Nah, they’d never get your ears right.”

 

“Feel free to stop dating me at any point.”

 

“I am the light of your life. Your sun and fucking stars!”

 

“Never was a fan of Game of Thrones.”

 

“You know what...go henna your pale ass fucking eyebrows.”

 

“Do they need a top up?”

 

“This is super like, romantic and stuff, but can you do more cooking and less flirting?” Chris called from the table.

 

“Feel free to join in if you’re feeling left out,” Derek shot over his shoulder with a wink, missing the frown Dex shot at him on his way to the fridge.

 

“Nursey, I want to be _more_ left out.”

 

“Rude,” Derek scoffed as Chris grinned at him.

 

 They made passable black bean and chicken burritos (burritos in as much a sense as it was a collection stuff and wrapped it all up in a tortilla, Chris felt that distinction was important for the sake of Mexican culture), and they ate them while trying not to knock any errant pies on the floor (like Derek had totally not done while cooking.)

 

“What are you guys up to tonight?” Chris asked as he sat back in his chair, drumming his hands on his full stomach.

 

“Netflix and chill,” Derek said immediately and tried not to wince at the look that got him from Chris.

 

“Are we?” Dex asked.

 

“Yeah. Tick tock, time’s up on your owing me a movie. Submarine it is.”

 

“Oh god,” Dex groaned as Chris laughed.

 

 Chris helped them wash up, biding his time until everything was dried up and put away to fine Derek for wrapping his arms around Dex and kissing the back of his neck. And for holding his hips while singing along to the Frogs’ ‘get shit done’ playlist. And wolf whistling Dex every time he threw the dishcloth over his shoulder.

 

“Time to face the music,” Chris teased when Dex tried to make another round of the kitchen to check it was all clean and put away. “He’s going to get you watching that film one way or another. At least it’s not Wes Anderson this time.“

 

“He enjoyed Fantastic Mr.Fox.”

 

“I did.”

 

“It’s a good film,” Chris said.

 

“It is.”

 

“...chill. That was a stimulating review. Dexy come _on.”_

 

“You know I don’t really hate the movies you wanna watch,” Dex said after Derek had finally got him upstairs, shaking out the pillows he was piling up on the bottom bunk to give them somewhere to curl up together. “I only didn't wanna watch ‘cause I thought you were gonna put on something fake deep and not actually enjoyable to watch? To make a point I guess.”

 

“How am I ever fake deep?” Derek asked as he got his laptop set up.

 

“You're this far away from being fake deep,” Dex held up his thumb and index finger about half an inch apart, shooting Derek a smooth half smile that made more people blush than Dex ever cared to notice.

 

 Derek had always been a little insecure. The reasons were varied and social and not always out of his control. He had the same worries with Dex as he’d had in all previous relationships, but he had picked up a new one along the way too; the unsettled, unhappy feeling he’d had when he'd seen Dex dancing with one of Ransom’s buddies at a Kegster. The feeling that, for how pretty - how good looking-  he knew Dex was, the he was somehow lacking because he couldn't see the sexy guy everyone else did. That he was less worthy of Dex’s affection because of it.

 

 All he could do was try to reminded himself that he had always loved Dex for more than the shape of his body and the arrangement of his features. And it was because of that reason that Dex was here with him.

 

 Derek loved his laugh and the colour of his hair, his science brain and the pattern of his freckles. He loved Dex’s humour and petulance, his skills and passions, and his soft, caring heart he tried to keep safe by being a grouchy fuck.

 

 All that was very nice. All that made Derek feel about ten feet tall. But none of that was not all easy to try and fuck.

 

“Are you gonna just stare at me or what? Am _I_ acting this out for you? I'll need to go get a snorkel.”

 

“It's not actually set underwater…”

 

 Dex rolled his eyes. “I know,” he dragged off his sweater, smoothing out the Henley Derek had encouraged him to steal from him. “Jeesh, you still think I don't google the shit you talk about.”

 

 There was nothing especially beautiful or wonderful about pale skin, in fact Derek had always found the blueness of Dex’s veins in winter a bit unsettling. Still, the pale skin at the ball of his shoulder and over his hip bones had always been something Derek liked. He knew how soft and smooth it was, liked the pattern of the freckles there no matter if they were faded or so dark it was almost a tan. Hated how easily it bruised.  

 

 He reached out for Dex as he moved to flop down next to Derek, pulling him between his legs and resting his cheek on his stomach. “Hey.”

 

“Hey,” Dex said softly, resting his hand on the back of Derek’s neck. “You okay?”

 

“Mmm,” Derek hummed, running his hands up and down the backs of Dex’s thighs, breathing in his clean, end of the day smell. “M’good.”

 

 Dex let a couple of fingers slip under the collar of Derek’s sweater, lightly stroking over the top of his spine. It would’ve been a nice relaxing touch if Derek didn’t think he might vibrate out of his skin at any moment.

 

“Dex.”

 

“Mmmm.”

 

“I wanna talk to you about something but it’s kinda difficult but it’s also dumb that I’m finding it difficult so can I just say it to your stomach first to get it out?”

 

“Uuuhh...sure?”

 

“I would...like to try and have sex.”

 

 At first Derek thought Dex hadn’t heard him. Then his body language shifted from 'open and nonjudgmental' to becoming like one long alarm bell in his arms. ”Uuhh…” he said, eyes wide when Derek sat back to look at him.

 

“I’m down. It’s chill,” he stroked Dex’s sides, frowning at how unsettling it was for Dex _not_ to be blushing right now. “Babe?”

 

 Dex blinked, taking a aborted half step backwards as he sucked in a breath. “I’m not trying to tell you what you want or not believing you. I totally take you at your word. But I… I -  not right now? I’m sorry I know...”

 

 Derek let his hands drop into his lap and regretted it when he caught the expression that passed over Dex’s face. “You don’t have to apologise for that. You know that. But I didn’t mean right now anyway I meant...”

 

“Oh. Oh. Okay,” Dex said, then shook his head. “Sorry. I didn’t…I never saw this coming.”

 

“I told you that when I worked through some stuff I’d probs be down.”

 

“Y - When. Before you came out to me? When you -  you were having sex just ‘cause it’s was what people did. That -  I can't do that again. I trust you but I - I'm. I…”

 

“Hey,”  Derek touched Dex’s thigh, feeling less adrift when his expression become less pinched. “I screwed up there. I know. It was dumb. But you know I never did anything I didn't want to, okay? You did nothing wrong. And I'd never do that to you again.”

 

“I _know_ , D. It’s…” Dex looked around the room and sighed. “M’being weird is all.”

 

 Derek held out his hand, letting it hang in the hair between them before Dex took it and allowed himself to be pulled down to sit next to Derek. “Now, we _could_ go into why you being weird is not all that unusual...” Derek started, grinning when Dex bumped his shoulder. “Its okay to say no to me. You know?”

 

 Dex frowned, staring down at a smear of oil paint that had sunk into the wood. “This is such a mess.”

 

 That like a stab in the chest but Derek couldn't disagree. “You never thought we'd run smoothly, right?”

 

 Dex shook his head and squeezed Derek's hand. “It'll be okay.”

 

“Thats mad chill of you brah," he teased, protesting when Dex rolled his eyes. "It is!” he protested when Dex rolled his eyes.

 

 Dex shook his head but there was the hint of a smile on his face. “Have to pick something up from you I suppose.”

 

“I'm not chill and you know it,” Derek admitted. “Look…”

 

“...Maybe if I just got you off first I'd ...”

 

“No fucking way Poindexter. _No fucking way_ are we doing that. How is you doing that any better than what I did?”

 

“But you deserve a sex life if you want it.”

 

“On _our_ terms!” Derek said slightly more harshly than he meant to. “Shit Dex, aren't you letting yours be on my terms?” They sat in silence for a moment, Derek trailing his thumb over Dex’s boney knuckles. “I know how I was when I was working through stuff is like -  is why you’re so hesitant now. I get it. I do. And whatever you need to do to work through that… we’ll see about it. Okay?”

 

“Okay,” Dex nodded, turning his hand to lace their fingers together. “It feels good that we can be this honest,” he said, bringing Derek's hand to his mouth to kiss.

 

“I don’t think most people would believe how sweet you can be, babe,” Dex shrugged as if to say ‘that’s not my problem’ and Derek kissed the freckles on his upper arm.

 

“I don’t expect you to have all the answers or know how this goes just ‘case you’re ace. It’s fine. Unexpected is all.”

 

“Is it?”

 

“Uh, yeah? I don’t sit around imagining that day you’re like ‘I’m horny let’s fuck’.”

 

“What do you think about when you jack off? It’s chill if you did...”

 

“I’ve got a fucking memory,” Dex spat, all indignant ruffled feathers as his ears turned pink.

 

 Derek leant forward and brushed Dex’s bangs off his forehead. “You’re such a babe and I love you.”

 

“I love you too,” Dex murmured against Derek’s mouth when he pressed their lips together softly. They kissed easily for a while, leaning against one another, Dex squeezing Derek’s hand to make him smile.

 

“Y’wanna watch your movie now?” Dex asked when they pulled away.

 

“We can go do something else?”

 

“No come on,” Dex grunted as slipped back across the bottom bunk. “I'm here now.”

 

“Wow. Turn down the enthusiasm. Please.”

 

 

_X_

 

 The game against Brown was boring; the energy on the ice felt low, none of the Forwards were being all that inspiring so the defence didn't have much to do, and it felt like they were playing through icing call after icing call. It was going to be a wholly unmemorable game until Dex’s skate hit a bad patch of ice. He skidded dramatically, taking out Chris as he slid skates first into the goal and sent it bouncing back into where Hops was trying to get the puck out from between two Brown players.

 

 It was something they’d laugh about on the bus, but in the moment both benches got to their feet to watch Hops and the Brown guys untangle themselves from the net. Chris managed to push himself upright and was about to wave to the bench when Dex slipped over again when he tried to get his feet, Chris trying to catch him and taking them both down again.

 

 Derek was half over the boards when Hops yelled to the bench, “His blade’s broken,” as he and Chris helped Dex up onto one foot.

 

“I’ll finish the shift with Hops,” Bully said, waiting for Dex to get through the gate before sliding over the boards and onto the ice.

 

 Derek looked down the bench as Dex talked animatedly with Ford, the anger he always carried in his shoulders visible even under his pads and jersey.

 

 He reached over and gave Ollie a whack, “Swap with me, brah.”

 

 Wickes rolled his eyes and lent back to call down the line, “He hasn’t got another blade.”

 

“Tell Ford to -  _fuck_ ,” Derek got up and shuffled down the bench to where Dex, Ford, and Coach Hall were huddled, “Take one of my spare blades, we’re on basically the same ones.”

 

“Nurse…”

 

“On it,” Ford said, brandishing Dex’s skate as she disappeared into the tunnel.

 

“Thank you Derek,” Coach Hall said, giving Derek a knock on the helmet. “We’ll see about the new blades tomorrow, Will. I’m putting you and Derek back on the same line so he can cover any slack okay?”

 

“Yes coach,” they agreed, Derek waiting until Coach Hall had moved back behind the bench before turning to Dex. “I’ll keep my eye on you while you get a feeling for the different blade okay? You're a good skater you'll be fine.”

 

“Thanks D.”

 

“I’ll order some new ones for you tomorrow.”

 

“My scholarship covers new blades.”

 

“Your scholarship gets you shitty blades that break,” Derek pressed the back of his gloved against Dex’s arm and stepped closer to him, ignoring Louis jeering someone on the ice. “Let me be nice to my boyfriend okay?”

 

 Dex visibly swallowed down his bitter, unhelpful pride, and nodded.

 

 Derek nodded and knocked their helmets together, giving Dex a smack on the ass as he hobbled off in the direction Ford had gone.

 

 He turned to head back down the bench and caught the Brown number eighteen looking at them from near their door. “What the fuck do you want?”

 

“Thought I was gonna get a show, twenty-eight.”

 

“Only way to get your stick working, huh?” Derek chirped back.

 

 Eighteen’s reply to that was drowned out by Louis and Wicks yelling at him and he skated off, Derek shaking out the prickle of fear that had crept up the back of his neck.

   

 

 Him and Dex had never shared on roadies. At first it had been for the obvious reason that they hated one another, and then after that is was simply routine.

 

 They rode the elevator with Ford because they always used to have to ride with Lardo between them, and let their kit bags bump together as they walked down the hallway. Derek turned to give Dex their usual nod goodnight, but Dex was already looking at him. He pulled up just as Dex reached out to touch his arm and they stood in the sterile hotel corridor looking at one another.

 

 No matter what Dex claimed he was a superstitious as fuck, more so than Derek ever was. So, being the fantastic boyfriend that he was, Derek broke their routine of staying silence once they got into the elevator by speaking first. “Gonna kiss me goodnight to give me sweet dreams?”

 

 Dex’s eyelids flickered like he was considering rolling his eyes but managed to hold it in. “I wanted to. I never said thank you earlier for the blade and the - and you offering to buy me some more. So, thank you.”

 

 Derek reached out to touch Dex’s waist under his Samwell jacket. “My pleasure babe,” Derek shot Dex his winning smile and tipped his chin so Dex would give him a kiss.

 

“...you see then I take the underlying c track and I - _Å..._ "

 

 “Fucking Waffles,” Derek sighed as Dex turned to give a staring Hops and Louis a look, Bully not breaking step and he strolled past like the nonchalant bad boy he was _trying_ to be.

 

“Yes?” Dex demanded.

 

“Nothing,” Louis said immediately.

 

“Nope. Nothing,” Hops agreed.

 

“Alright then,” Dex said, looking back to Derek for a moment before they turned to head to their rooms.

 

“Hey uh…” Louis called after them. “I know we’re not supposed to but I’ll share with Bully if you two want to…”

 

“ _Oh my god Louis_ …”

 

“We’re all adults here. If they want to…”

 

“ _Louis!”_

 

 Derek turned before Dex did, the bickering stopping dead under his attention. He had been dragging his feet about coming out to the Waffles for months, but right now he was too weary from the game for all that. All he wanted to do now was make Dex cuddle him and not deal with weak Waffle chirps tomorrow on the bus. He just wanted to be Derek tonight, just Derek, and if a Waffle had a problem with that then they'd deal with it tomorrow. “I’m asexual.”  

 

“Oh,” Louis said as Hops talked over him.

 

“Okay. That’s cool. I mean - not _cool_ cool. It’s -  Thanks for telling us Nursey.”

 

“Yes. Thank you. I’m -,” Louis glanced between Derek and Dex. “I’m sorry about all that stuff - I didn’t…”

 

“It’s chill Louis,” Derek said, and he meant it, smiling back when Louis sent him one of his relieved sunshine smiles. “Isn’t it chill Dex?”

 

“What? Oh yeah, it’s fine,” he said as gently as he ever managed when caught off guard. “We’ll still take you up on that room swap though.”

 

“O - oh...Oh okay.”

 

“Thanks man,” Dex said, giving Louis a pat on the arm as Hops laughed at him.

 

 

 Dex had the covers pulled up to his nose when Derek stepped out of the bathroom, tired eyes blinking away the light of the bathroom as Derek laughed at him.

 

“Cold babe?”

 

“Mmnngghhh,” Dex replied, curling his long legs to make room as Derek finished rubbing his night cream into his face.

 

“You’re so whiny.”

 

“ _Mmmmgghh.”_

 

 Derek switched off the lights and crawled across the single beds Dex had pushed together, ripping the comforter from his grip to burrow in behind him. Dex made a vague, and frankly weak, _mph_ of protest when Derek curled an arm around him and pulled him close, tucking his knee’s up under Dex’s thighs.

 

 He pressed his face into the smooth skin at the top of Dex's spine and took a deep breath, relaxing into him and into the bed. He ran his hand over Dex’s stomach, tracing the curve of his hip and the bumps of his ribcage before resting his hand over his heart. He liked touching, liked feeling Dex's presence and warmth, liked having him close, liked his comfort and the feeling he gave Derek that all his worries and troubles were not so insurmountable.

 

 Derek smiled when Dex searched out his hand and twinted their fingers together, the sweeps his thumbs made over Derek’s knuckles slowing and slowing and slowing until Dex’s breathing slipped into the gentle wheeze that meant he was asleep.

 

 

_X_

 

“Dexy. _Dexy_. Dexy!!”

 

“Yes babe.”

 

_“Wiiiiilll.”_

 

_“Yes_ Nursey?”

 

“You’re so beautiful.”

 

“All right, Nursey.”

 

“God you’re beautiful. Fuck. I’m so lucky…”

 

“Come on, let’s get you some water.”

 

“You’re the only thing I need. _God_. I feel more schwasty just looking at you man. FUck. I love you.”

 

“I love you too. Now come on. We’ll go back to the Haus after this.”

 

“Are we not in the Haus brah?”

 

“Volleyball house.”

 

“VOLLEYBAAALLLLL. Cait is so lucky Chris is so great. He’s excellent. I love him. I love you. Cait too, she’s amazing.”

 

“Yep.”

 

“You know who else is amazing?”

 

“You?”

 

“Nnnope….Yes. But you. You’re amazing. I wanna... _I wanna...”_

 

“All right. Get back to me on that when you’re sober. Drink this right now.”

 

“No I gotta… _I want_ Dex.”

 

“I know. I get you. Drink this please.”

 

“Oh. Okay. Sure. Sober for talking. Got it.”

 

 

_X_

 

 Derek stood outside their door, Annie’s bag with a still warm muffin in hand, hesitating like an idiot.

 

 He couldn’t remember exactly what he had been saying though the haze of tub juice, but he had a good enough idea to know they needed to talk. Or _he_ needed to talk at least, from what he had seen of Dex between his own hangover and Dex's double shift at work yesterday he hadn't noticed Dex being overly monosyllabic like he got when he was preoccupied.

 

He never got to find out how long he would have stood  outside his own door because Ollie, cookie in mouth and just back from a seminar, knocked on the door and sprinted off into the attic like he knew what an ass-whooping felt like.

 

“What,” Dex yelled and Derek rolled his eyes as he shouldered into the room.

 

“I know your mom didn't bring you up to answer the door like that,” he shook his head at Dex when he looked up at him. “I should smack your ear for her.”

 

“Der…” Dex started, dodging when Derek flicked his ear. “Hey! Quit.”

 

“I can't believe you'd expect me to let all Deborah's hard work bringing your ass up slide.”

 

“Urgh, stop being friends with my _mom_!”

 

“I'll whatsapp her that, she'll find it funny.”

 

Dex glared at him and pointed to the Annie's bag, “Give.”

 

“How do you know it's for you?”

 

“ _Give_ Nurse _,”_ Derek threw it at him and was kinda impressed when he caught the bag one handed. “MMMmmmm - _blueb muffen_ ,” he caught Derek's eye as he made a ‘mlem’ sound with his tongue. Doing it again when Derek pulled a face at him.

 

“I take back my sorry, you goddam white devil.”

 

 Dex paused with the muffin halfway to his mouth, “Why are you sorry?”

 

“I got drunk and let my mouth run.”

 

“If you said sorry with Annie’s every time you did that my pads won’t fit anymore,” Dex said through a mouth full of muffin.

 

“No I mean - the shit I said. Was too much?”

 

 Dex dropped the muffin back in the bag, chewing his mouthful before swallowing, “It’s fine. You said I was beautiful and wanted to do me. It’s fine. I’m not… freaked out by it or anything. It’s fine.”

 

“Saying ‘it’s fine’ more than once means it’s not.”

 

“It is! It’s - you came and talked to me about it,” he reached into the bag, pulling a piece off the muffin and popping it in his mouth. “It’s not like it’s a surprise. I’m not freaked out. It fi- it’s okay.”

 

“X to doubt,” Derek muttered, sitting down heavily on his bunk.

 

“You’re not getting the muffin back.”

 

“Wow. I am so lucky to have you.”

 

 Dex placed the paper bag on the table and dropped out of the chair, walking across the room on his knees to plop his butt down on his heels in front of Derek, leaning forward so his chest was resting against his shins. “Even if you’d have done that a month ago you’d still not need to say sorry. Your...what you want or don’t want are not things you need to say sorry to me about okay? How can I be mad about that.”

 

“How can _you_ \- William Poindexter - _not_ be mad about something?”

 

“Point. But also fuck off.”

 

“But you know what I mean babe,” Derek reached out to neaten Dex’s bangs. “Why I wanna say sorry. I don’t wanna like…”

 

“I was going to let this come out in its own good time but. _But_ \- I’ve thought shit out and, you know - I’m pretty sure I’m not gonna bug out if you ever want to again,” Derek felt a surprised thrill run through him when Dex’s cold fingers touched his ankle. “If that’s the reason you think you have to say sorry _.”_

 

 Derek nodded a little dumbly, feeling stupid to be so surprised by that but still, well, surprised. He glanced around the room, then down at Dex who had leant his chin on Derek’s knee, peering up at him through his lashes. Not on purpose of course; Dex was incapable of being coy, and was a terrible flirt besides. Just an awkward disaster all round most of the time.

 

But he was always sincere, and was so very sweet without meaning to be.

 

 He was also quite good at sucking dick. It had been a while, sure, but Derek remembered that fact very clearly.

 

“Seeing as you’re down there…” he said half jokingly, unable to stop himself bending over and taking Dex’s face in his hands to kiss him when he was given a very dry, unimpressed look.

 

“Always pushing your fucking luck,” Dex whispered against his mouth, giving Derek one last kiss before pulling out of his hold and crawling up onto the bottom bunk.

 

 Derek watched him as he dumped all their pillows in the corner of the bed and settled against them, planting his feet on the mattress and patting the space between them. “Come chill, you might get lucky,” he said with a wink.

 

 “You're the worst,” Derek sighed, being careful not to bang his head on the top bunk as he scooted back to settle against Will’s chest, resting one hand on his thigh as he picked one of Dex’s up with the other.

 

 One of the things he liked most about Dex was that he could be quiet with him. That Dex's presence was one that encouraged silence. He used to hate it, silence was where his own nasty thoughts had taken up residence and he had resented Dex for leaving him with them. Would poke and nag and escalate just to have some noise around him. But - as long as he was in the right mindset of course - _being_ with Dex in the quiet wasn't all that bad. There was no pressure to do anything, to be anything, to know just what to say. He could just be Derek Nurse and look out at the sky through their dirty window.

 

 He ran his hand up and down Dex’s thigh, liking the feeling of the worn denim under his palm. Touching one another had become this grounding, comforting thing between them; Dex would rest his hand on Derek’s knee,  trail his fingers over his forearms, and kiss Derek's neck without any intention of being anything but affectionate. He was slightly hesitant now, tracing the bones of Derek's wrist as if he was prepared to snatch his hands away at a word from Derek.

 

 The skittishness was unsettling but he wasn't going to complain. Not when Dex was solid and warm, his long legs penning him in on either side. Tall and strong and _sa_ _fe._

 

 Derek dug his heels into the edge of the bed frame to push back against Dex, tensing slightly when he felt Dex’s dick pressed into his back. It happened when they made out sometimes, to both of them, and for how awkward he sometimes felt when it was his dick chubbing Derek never freaked out about it. He wasn't that worried about it now, or scared or nervous or surprised or any of those things that run through your mind when you first feel a guy getting hard on you. For the first time in a good few months there was a good chance they'd do something about it together - or at least in the same room - and it gave him pause. As simply and as complicated as it ever was.

 

 Dex started to pull away but Derek pressed Dex’s hand against his thigh to stop him, holding the hand at his waist in place. “I’m good.”

 

 Dex didn’t double check, just let Derek move the hand resting on his waist over to the tie of his sweatpants. Derek hummed when Dex pressed his blunt nose into the short hair at the side of his head, sagging against him when Dex pressed a kiss to the spot behind his ear, the hinge of his jaw, his cheek, as he let his fingers move lazily over the strip of Derek’s stomach above the band of his underwear. “You’re unbearably beautiful, you know that.”

 

 Derek sunk back against Dex, reaching back to slip his fingers through the short hair at the base of Dex’s skull, tipping his head back against Dex’s broad shoulder so he could peer up at his face. “Same.”

 

 He felt Dex laugh against him, lips brushing against his hair as Dex slowly tugged Derek’s shirt up his stomach and out of the way.

 

“Okay?”

 

“Mmmm.”

 

“ _Mmmm_ ,” Dex parroted back, slipping his hand into Derek’s sweats to grasp his dick through his briefs.

 

 His touch was on the heavy side as he touched Derek slowly through the thin material, kissing his neck when Derek let out a whimper. He rolled his hips unconsciously against Dex’s hand, the hiss Dex breathed into his ear making Derek giggle a little too loudly.

 

 Derek jerked at the sharp edge of teeth scraping against his neck as Dex pushed everything out of the way, Derek’s feet almost slipping off of the mattress when he picked his hips up to try and help.

 

“Whoops,” Derek said a little breathlessly, swallowing as he watched Dex lazily stroke the crease where his thigh met his torso, over the line of his pelvis, tracing his happy trail up to his belly button and back down.

 

 It took Derek letting out an impatient sound for Dex to wrap his hand around him again, the asshole. He gasped, wriggling back against Dex as he stroked him from base to tip. It was a little dry, and Dex’s hand was rough. Derek wasn’t going to say anything, but after that first touch Dex took his hand away and it came back slick with something. Derek was about to accuse him of Unrealistic Porn Convenience when Dex tightened his grip and twisted his fist around the head of his cock and Derek became a little distracted.

 

 He couldn’t get enough purchase on the sheet to roll his hips into Dex’s hand so instead Derek pressed back, making sure his lower back was rubbing against Dex’s cock and smiling when Dex’s breath hitched next to his ear. He gave Dex’s hair a tug as he tried to twist in his grip to reach his mouth, desperate to swallow those noises in a kiss, but Dex held his hips in place, the blunt nails digging into his skin making Derek choke on a moan. “Aw _fuck_.”

 

 Dex had him shuddering and gasping for air against him like he’d never been out of practise, kissing over Derek’s shoulders while he caught his breath, hand moving over him until Derek twitched, sensitive, and whined.

 

“Okay?” Dex asked quietly when Derek felt like he wasn’t about to sink through the bed anymore. Instead of answering Derek twisted in Dex’s hold, dragging his head forward so he could finally kiss him, sloppy and awkward and so good Derek felt a thrill run through him.

 

He held Dex’s face in his hand and kissed him, licking into his mouth and swallowing the noise that dragged out of Dex. Big hands rested on his ribs, ran up his back, held onto his shoulders as Dex slipped down against the pillows, his feet hitting the floor with a thunk when his long ass legs slipped off the bed. Neither of them paid it much notice, Derek tugging open enough buttons on Dex’s flannel to feel his heart thump under his skin.

 

The kiss slowed naturally. Derek pulled away with tingling, pleasantly sore lips, trying not to grin at how red Dex’s neck was, the blush becoming blotchy as it traveled down to his chest.

 

 Dex’s bright eyes were looking up at him through the shadows of the bottom bunk, skimming over his shoulders and face, his still half exposed stomach. Dex darted forward to kiss Derek’s collar bone before collapsing back into the pillows, not looking all that expectant, but then again Derek didn’t expect him to. Dex wasn’t going to ask for anything from him for a while yet, which was...well, if it was what he needed then Derek was dam well going to do his best to give him that.

 

 Derek rested his hand against the hard line of Dex’s junk in his pants and rubbed gently. “You know I like it when you feel good. So don't worry about me. But if you don’t want me too that’s chill,” Derek spoke quietly and clearly, ducking his head to press a kiss to the edge of Dex’s mouth. 

 

 He was not going to press the issue, even if the way Dex’s breath caught had him pressing his hand down, enjoying the familiar feeling of Dex’s dick in his hand. Dex didn’t say anything even though his throat was working, Adam's apple bobbing so Derek had to lean in and kiss that as well. Dex let his legs slip open further and tilted his hips, face telegraphing everything even as his ears burnt red.

 

 Derek kissed them too because he knew it would make Dex squirm, making high little sound in the back of his throat when his dick rubbed against Derek's palm.

 

 He got his hand into Dex’s jeans, tracing the line of his hip bone where he knew faint freckles hid themselves away before he wrapped his hand around him.

 

 Dex made a move like he was going to throw an arm over his face but Derek knocked it out of the way, pressing down onto his shoulder to stop trying it again. “Don’t remember you being a shy one,” he teased as he thumbed the head of Dex’s dick.

 

“M’not,” he protested in a breathless voice. “Not sure that was what you wanted to see.”

 

“What?”

 

“M’just a sweaty, flushing m - flushing mess, if you're not attracted to it.”

 

 Dex didn't mean not attracted to _him,_ that had been one of the first thing’s they’d worked through. Derek tightened his grip on his cock, stroking one of Dex’s ridiculously pink nipples through his shirt. “ ‘Course I wanna see it,” he said, dropping his voice into a rumble that always got people flustered, “beautiful boy like you.”

 

 Dex made a sound that would have been more outrage than desperation if he wasn't clinging to Derek, arching into the fist working over his dick. “ _Fuck_.”

 

 Yeah, orgasms were weird and ungainly and sometimes hilarious, Dex was an exception to a whole bunch of the rules Derek had held onto for years. So what was one more between boyfriends.

 

“I love you, and I want to see you come,” Derek whispered into his ear.

  

 Dex was a wriggler. He squirmed and bucked when he was the one laying back and letting someone else touch him. Derek liked the contrast between Dex in control and Dex giving it up, he liked Dex’s focus and he liked it when he let loose. What he wasn't a fan of was getting pitched off the bed onto the floor, so Derek pressed down on Dex's chest to try and keep him still. He could feel how strong and solid he was, feel the power that made Dex beast on the ice and dug his nails in, leaninf down to suck a mark onto Dex's collarbone as he shuddered and came with a groan all over his hand.

 

 “ _Christ_.”

 

 Derek smiled into his neck, kissing him gently as he wiped his hand on Dex’s shirt. He sat back, fingers resting on Dex’s fly as he let what had just happened settle. Having sex didn’t make him not asexual, he didn’t have to live like a monk to be _allowed_ to be ace, and yet he still felt a niggle of doubt that sounded like every ‘ _have you gone to see a doctor_ ’ or ‘ _spicing up your sex life can really help_ ’ he’d heard over the past year and a bit.

 

“You okay?” Dex asked, hand a comforting weight  on Derek’s knee, and Derek smiled down at him through the heavy drop of his stomach at the thought of Dex doubting him.

 

“Thinking.”

 

“...Good thinking?” Dex asked, a concerned frown forming a crease between his eyebrows. Derek sighed, flopping to the side to curl up next to him, Dex reaching out a hand to cradle Derek's head to he didn’t knock it against the wall on his way down. He tidied them both away and zipped up Dex’s jeans before laying his head on Dex’s chest, snuggling into the arm curled around his shoulders.

 

 “Not bad thinking. Just thinking,” he murmured, stroking his hand over Dex’s stomach. “I enjoyed that though, don’t doubt that. It was more than chill.”

 

Dex snorted, slipping his hand up Derek’s neck to very lightly touch his curls, “Shouldn’t it be less than chill?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Because chill means relaxed?”

 

“Don’t read too much into it babe. It’s just a phrase. Chill.”

 

 Dex was silent for a moment. “I preferred you thinking.”

 

Derek turned his face into Dex’s body and took a deep breath, clenching his fist into the fabric of his shirt. He wouldn't question him, Derek knew that, but there was a heavy ‘What If’ sitting on his solar plexus.

 

“That was okay wasn't it?” Dex said into his hair, bringing Derek out of his reverie. “I know you...It felt right. It felt nice having you so close.”

 

“It was exactly as it should have been.”  

 

“Cool.”

 

“I mean it,” Derek said, leaning on his elbow so he could look down at Dex. “I got so focused on ‘ **it** ’ that I...It's not just about fucking is it? Sex. Its organic intimacy and the coming together of…”

 

“Yeah okay I get you,” Dex muttered, fingertips trailing nonsense patterns over Derek's tattoo. “We'll get there.”

 

“Yeah we will.”

 

 Derek traced his ear, his jaw, and down his neck, leaning in to peck Dex on the lips. “We should shower.”

 

“Give me like, half an hour to gather my strength,” Dex sighed dramatically, letting his body flop into the mattress.

 

“You're such a…” Derek muttered as he jabbed his fingers into Dex's side's, laying his full weight down on top of Dex when he tired to wiggle away, and kissed him.

  

 

_X_

 

“300! 300! 300!”

 

“Fuck sake Louis you’re such a frat boy.”

 

“300! It’s a good film!”

 

“Yeah I know but stop chanting it.”

 

“Three- “ Louis started, letting out a muttered yell when Hops walloped him with a pillow.

 

“What are you doing?” Dex's voice rung out from the doorway, bending to give Derek a kiss when he tipped his head back over the top of the couch to smile up at him.

 

“Waffles are picking a movie,” Derek explained, rolling his head back upright as Dex moved into the room. “Well - they’re fighting over a movie. Come sort them out mom.”

 

“Yeah mom! He hit me with a pillow!”

 

“Moooom he wouldn’t shut up!”

 

 Dex dropped his bag on the floor with a sigh and stepped between where Hops and Louis were sitting, “Louis, shut up. Hops, no hitting. And you’re both fined for calling me mom.”

 

“Nursey called you mom!”

 

“I am in a perpetual state of being Fine,” Derek drawled, winking at Dex as the Waffles groaned.

 

“Can you fine him for that?” Bully asked.

 

“Don’t make me fine everyone in the room!” Dex threatened in his mom voice and took the smart TV remote (thank you sugar Jacky) from Louis. “I’ll put the film on, you lot shut up, and then we’ll order pizza.”

 

 The Waffles reacted like pizza was a treat because they were so young and so enthusiastic about everything. Derek caught Dex’s gaze and raised an eyebrow but Dex just shook his head as he flopped down next to him and let Derek put his feet on his lap.

 

 300 had been the hype movie at Andover, passed down through the hockey team on an old DVD. Derek had always enjoyed how stylised it was (and had wondered if he really was Bi as he wasn’t drooling over all the oiled half naked men like he felt like he was supposed to). There was also nothing better, in his opinion, than a good speech and this film had plenty. Even if the sex scene was weirdly drawn out and...weird.

 

 He smiled to himself when it was about to come up, glancing over at Dex before reaching out to grab his arm so suddenly it made him jump. “Oh my god!” he said loudly, just to startle the Waffles.

 

“ _Jesus christ_ Nursey.”

 

“This has a sex scene in it, I can’t watch this.”

 

 Bully was the first to break the silence with a snort. Louis and Hops shared a look and turned back to the film, ignoring Derek as Dex shoved his feet off of his lap.

 

“What?”

 

“Asshole.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This fic contains an Asexual Character engaging in sex because he want's to. It also contains reference to events in Aluminium Man where Nursey had sex with him without being 100% honest and has somewhat of a lasting negative effect on Dex.


End file.
